So i was away then came back to see changes made to getting XP then find quests dont give XP but shards etc, Is my avatar weapon no good now as with those relics i can only seem to upgrade to +3
Hmm so i get shard relics and use them to upgrade a weapon but find it stops at +3 how do i upgrade it further or are weapons level restricted?
It's quite simple: progression was overhauled.
You won't upgrade lower gear over +3, but it doesn't really matter; aren't you stomping PvE stuff with your current set?
Avatar Weapon is dead and it seems low tier alkahest/feedstock are gone as well, don't worry about it and keep leveling!
OBS: you don't even need parties anymore, they pretty much reworked the quest line and added "Solo Dungeon"... Actually, parties are made of 3 players now and you progress much faster to high end content.
Only main story quests (red ones) give XP now. As noted, progression and parts of the story/quest line were changed. Parts of the Val Tirkai argon story were moved from level 58 to the level 30's and the gap that existed between 54-58 (where it was primarily several dungeons), is now covered by story lines and the solo dungeons until you hit 60 (were you then get a new quest chain that takes you to same Fate of Arun part in Velika Outskirts - the old "Fly to the North" Vanguard Initiative has been removed). The Argon War part of the quest that takes place in Argonea is now level 64 and only available once the Fate of Arun part is completed.
Most of the field monster objectives that had a Vanguard Initiative Request were removed and pushed off into yellow side quests (that give gold and materials for enchanting). Some of quests that used to be part of the main line questing were also moved off into these side quests (side quests give no XP). Pre-level 65, only solo mode dungeons can now progress the main story line (if you choose to level this way). Mobs and bosses are basically balanced for one player so they have less hit points and deal out less damage. Specific plague mechanics still need to be dealt with though (like making sure to jump to remove the parasites in Manaya's Core (level 64 dungeon now) for example else it can still kill you with even higher end level 65 gear. Party mode dungeons for these still exist but they removed the matching requirement (so that it doesn't have to have tank, dps, healer).
The game will drop level appropriate gear from monsters now like how it was before they introduced avatar weapons. Some main quests also give out certain pieces as a reward. Caveat. The drop rate can get sort of low in the level 30-40 range (known issue that was eventually addressed in K-TERA) especially for weapons. The loot tables on some area mobs are also the wrong one. Like those level 40ish mobs were dropping level 50 gear when I really needed level forty-something ones. I know because I had an existing level 30ish character that I resumed leveling with this updated system, and I ended up using my level 32 weapon until I hit level 44, and got a weapon as a quest reward. On the opposite end of the RNG spectrum, I leveled a completely new character and didn't run into this lull so your mileage may vary.
Only level 64 gear has 6 enchant levels (the rest of the pre-level 65 gear only has 3 enchant levels; each enchant level gives a third of what was the prior maximum that one got before with the old +9). New pre-level 65 equipment can now be dismantled into three specific tiers of relics that is used as enchanting material. Feedstock and alkahest are obsolete for these new drops (you can still use them on old items that were dropped from before this update if you happen to have any).
Overall, if you previously leveled via questing, it's a bit more streamlined now (plus teleport scrolls are given or the NPC will teleport you directly to the next location for most story quests). If you previously leveled using dungeons after level 20, it's not much different except the restrictions on party composition has been removed.