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Parts and Peices

So, I decided to take up writing, and I decided to start by writing a backstory for my reaper. Please give me advice on what I could do to improve. So... Here's the first two parts.

I ducked just as the sword slashed at my head. I responded with a slash from my own sword. The director caught it on her blade and pushed me back. I slashed again, but the director blocked it again.
“You need to work on your sword skills.”, she retorted, as she once again blocked my blow.
“I don’t need your advice Karen.” I shot right back.
I knew that I should be saving my breath, but I didn’t care. I was too fed up with fighting her. The greatsword was NOT my thing. Nor was the twin swords. Or the Ax. Or running around healing people. I never wanted to see another staff or scepter after THOSE training regimens. I’m horrible at tanking. That left me with the option of being a sorcerer, a ninja, or an archer. When my test for the greatsword was finished, I decided to go to the Martial Symposium As I made my way to the Martial Symposium to get a bow, I overheard the archery instructor and another human male talking about something. I strained my ears to hear them more clearly.
“What can we do with her NOW?”, I heard the instructor ask,”I’ve seen how bad she’s done on her target practice with an arcannon. There’s no doubt that she’s gonna fail.”
That made my blood boil with rage. I thought the target practice with an arcannon had stayed a secret. SOMEONE obviously spilled about it.
“Well, we are running short on soldiers, and we need all of the help we can get.” the man replied, “besides, you don’t know how she’s gonna do as a sorc, an archer, or a ninja yet.”
“True” the instructor said mournfully,”Just don’t blame me if the training goes horribly wrong”.
“Alright then”, the man said, “At first sight of that little Elin ACTUALLY doing good in a class, I want her to be deployed immediately!”
“Yes sir”, the instructor said dutifully, “I will make sure of this”.
The two walked out of the room. I hid in the darkest shadow I could find. The two walked right past me. I muttered a prayer to Seren and Elinu to help me, although I knew that I had to do this on my own.

I started to walk to the Martial Symposium, where I knew I would find the instructor. I found the building and walked in. The instructor was waiting for me.
“Alright”, he shouted,”I’m gonna have you first try the shuriken. Now, slice those training dummies down”.
He handed me one.
I made my way outside, with the instructor on my tail. I made my way to the first dummy and slashed the shuriken across its mid-section. There was not even a scratch on it. I tried again, but to no avail. I just wasn’t strong enough. The instructor silently took the shuriken and handed me a disk. I tried to will it to float, but it didn’t. So I wasn’t connected to magic either. He finally handed me a bow. I notched an arrow and pulled the string back...
I let go of the string. Whump. The satisfying sound of the arrow hitting its mark. The instructor had his mouth open. I was equally surprised, but I took it better than he did. I made my way to the next one, lit the arrow on fire, and fired. It, too, hit its mark. I knew that I was to be an archer.
“OK, your training is done.”, he yawned, “you should go see Seir in his office.”
I knew that there was nothing to say, and I made my way to see Seir.
Seir immediately started shouting at me as I approached. I covered my ears.
“WHY are you STILL HERE! SHOO! Go to Bulwark Camp in Oblivion Woods. They need help there. NOW, GO!”
He gave me some new armor and a teleport scroll to Bulwark Camp. I read the enchantment on the teleport scroll, and the world disappeared.


  • Nice story.

    All archers should know the 5 Tenants of Bruhn.


  • Thanks! I'll consider it, but i don't think I'll be able to post another section until next week, due to playing on my reaper, Alexa.
  • edited August 2017
    Ok, just finished another part, but I won't be done with another part for another two weeks or so. From here, the story may be off because I haven't had a level 1 character since last month, and I can't remember what the names of things were. Also, I'm not one to stick to a specific story that has already been made.

    When I saw the world again, I was standing in a camp. A man behind me tapped my shoulder.
    “Are you the help Seir told me about?”, he asked.
    “Yep”, I replied.
    “Good. Now listen. The sabertooths have been causing trouble lately. Why don’t you go and kill some. It would ease the load off of my remaining soldiers. Oh, and while you’re at it, can you gather some of those red flowers? One of my doctors said that it would help my soldiers heal or something.”
    “Sure thing!” I said.
    “And watch out for the tusks!” he shouted.
    The sabertooths were easy enough. Each one only took an arrow or two to kill. The flowers were hard to find, though, and the sabertooths kept attacking me. But I soon completed the job. I rushed back and gave the flowers to the man.
    “Well done”, he said,”Now, I got a report for Jodoc in Crescentia. It would really help if you went to deliver it.”
    He looked down and realized that he was talking to empty air.
    As soon as I heard “report for Jodoc in Crescentia”, I took off towards Crescentia. The only hitch I encountered were the Sporewalkers on the road, which I killed easily. Once I was in Crescentia, I easily found Jodoc. I gave him the report.
    “Thank you”, he said.
    He looked at my back.
    ‘Hey, you’re an archer, aren’t you?”, he asked. I nodded. “Well then”, he continued,”Why don’t you go to the local library. It’s the second building to the left of me”.
    I nodded, thanked him, and ran off.
  • edited August 2017
    Ok, next section.

    I followed Jodoc’s directions and found myself in a large, well-lighted room filled with scrolls and books. I walked further inside, looking in awe at the sheer number of books there were. I made my way to the front desk. There was a Popori behind it, muttering furiously about a scroll.
    “Ahem”, I said.
    The Popori looked up at me, surprised. He immediately noticed the bow on my back. “Ah, I see. Jodoc sent another youngster to learn. And you happen to be an archer. Books for archers are on the shelves that are three rows to the right.”
    I went to my right when the Popori spoke up again.
    “To MY right” he added.
    “Oh, right. Thanks!”, I shouted back as I rushed past him in the right direction.
    I quckly found the aisle and sat down, prepared to spend the rest of the day reading.

    The following morning, I found Jodoc talking to some of the guards.”Are the scouts still missing? Did the basilisks kill them?” I heard Jodoc ask.
    “No, the scouts are not missing, but we found most of them in some of the basilisks’ mouths.”, one of the guards answered.
    “Oh, Alexa”, he said as he turned around to find me standing there,”We’ve been having basilisk problems. Could you report to Isla in Beastiale Vale? She’ll give you more information.”
    “Ok, I’ll report to Isla as soon as possible!”, I replied.
    Jodoc started to thank me, but I was already gone.
  • edited October 2017
    Ok, this failed horribly. I guess I'll just post whatever i got.

    “Duck!”, I screamed as the long, green tail of the giant serpent whizzed over our heads. “Follow it!”
    We ran after the tail, zipping around corners and rushing down hallway after hallway of the grey tunnels under Allemantheia. The tip of the tail took another sharp right turn, causing everyone to crash into the wall it was in front of just a split second ago.
    “Oof!”, Marco had just slammed into me as he crashed into the wall. “Ouch.”
    “Sorry!”, he shouted, as he got off me and rushed towards the fleeing end of the tail. “This way!”
    We all got up and ran towards him, only to find that it had gone down a hole in the ground, leading further down into the tunnels.
    "Alright, guys. Use your featherlight potions. It looks like a long way down, and that tail's not gonna wait for us."
  • edited October 2017
    I got both things wrong. First, it wasn't a long way down. The fall was really about ten-twenty feet. Second, the tail was, fortunately, waiting for us. Unfortunately, it had the other end with it. The serpent's large, dark green head was staring at us as we got up from the jump.
    "Ummm, guys, we've got company", Alexa gulped as she looked up into the musty yellow, soul piercing eyes of the serpent,"Also, it dosn't seem too happy."
    It hissed angrily, showing its foot long fangs, as if enforcing her comment.
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